This isn’t an update I was expecting to share anytime this year. But here I am.
My mother passed away Tuesday July 5th 2016, after 13 days in hospice care, in my childhood home with my father, sister and I all with her in the next room. We held her funeral mass that Saturday, and spread her ashes in York Beach the next evening.
Even though I know she is in a better place, and no longer is suffering, I selfishly wish she was still here.
It was too soon to lose her; I wasn’t ready.
I’m only 27.
I shouldn’t have lost her already. But I have. And now I have to figure out how to rebuild my life without her.
Thank God for my amazing friends and Kyle. I wouldn’t have survived the last 3 months without them.
I’m sorry I’ve been MIA again, but life literally hasn’t slowed down long enough to take a breather the last few months. So much has happened since I last updated you. Some good, some bad; all downright stressful.
Last I shared with you all, we were moving into our first solo apartment. Everything with that went off pretty much without a hitch at the end of February. It was a long couple of weeks getting all 4 of us settled into our new places, but it wasn’t too bad as far as moving goes. J&C still live in the same complex as us too, just on the other side. It’s so nice having them so close to us still; we’d be lost without them!
After the February moving whirlwind, my annual work event in AZ ramped up in March, just as we celebrated Enzo’s second (!!) birthday, C’s 27th birthday, and a few other friends and family’s birthdays (March is a month full of celebrations in our family!). I left for AZ April 1st, and was able to visit with Kyle’s mama, sister & nephew for a night while they were out in the desert too.
COFES prep onsite went smoothly, and we were ready for another great year. COFES itself though turned out to be chaotic with a new role I acquired, the illness of my boss’ closest friend, my macro-counting while traveling experiment, and food poisoning that took me out of commission for a FULL day of the event. But as much as it was crazy, not a single attendee knew anything was wrong, which is the sign of a very successful team. I’m so lucky I have such fantastic employees!
I rounded out my 2 weeks in AZ with Tasha and Kyle coming out to join me, and us all going up to Bellemont to visit some of K’s family. We got to explore a little with hiking up there at the Sunset Crater National Park too, which was ahhhmazing.
After returning from COFES, I jumped both feet into the newest Katy Hearn Fitseasonal challenge. I’ve been determined to make this year count as much as possible in the weight loss department since it’s my 5th year on my fitness journey. I have goals I want to hit, and a crazy idea I’ll share with you all if I do make it where I want to go… Eeeek!
In the midst of all my meal prep & gym hours, my mother unexpectedly was admitted to the hospital for severe pain. We didn’t know it at the time, but she had a raging kidney infection that was hidden because of her ALS pain. I don’t know how much I’ve shared in the past (I try to limit how much I blab about it), but for those that don’t know, my mother is in her 3rd year of an ALS diagnosis. I’ll spare you the details both past and present, but it all boiled down to me spending 2.5 weeks up in NH with my dad helping him with her.
After things seemed settled, I came back to DC to get back into the swing of things. But… Just a week later, I went back up when she was admitted again, but this time with c diff. I was there for another 1.5 weeks. When I left to come home we thought she finally had turned a corner.
I’ve been back in DC just shy of 2 weeks now, but the adventure isn’t quite over yet it seems. She’s been admitted to the hospital for the third time last week, now with pancreatitis, and her condition besides all the infections is getting more and more compromised. She hasn’t had adequate nutrition since the first time she was admitted, on April 26th. We’re not sure what the outcome will be, but we’re hoping whatever it may be that her pain will stop. ALS is a horrible disease, and I wouldn’t wish this kind of decline on anyone.
Anyhow, I’ll keep you all updated as often as I can as the next few weeks progress.
I wish you all a hospital and chaos free few weeks.
Christmas. New Year’s Eve wedding. Week long honeymoon in the Bahamas. Finding a new apartment. Running a new work event. A giant snowstorm. Starting the name change process. Signing a new lease. And starting to pack + move. It’s been an INSANE start to 2016. I don’t feel like I’ve caught my breath since we landed back in the States after our honeymoon. And for the first 3 weeks back, it felt like I didn’t see K at all because of late calls and so much forced OT. Talk about the best way to start our newly-wedded bliss.
Even with all this craziness, the most important this is…. WE’RE MARRIED!!! Can you believe it?? It’s taking us some time to adjust to it. We’re still working on finding our new normal; a new routine. Moving and work schedules aren’t helping matters much, but we’re getting there.
And the whole signing a new name on everything? That’s taking some getting used to too. So is referring to my husband?! It still sounds so strange coming out of my mouth.
But despite all this, we are very happy and feel so extremely blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives. We are excited for the things to come, and are looking forward to starting off on this new journey together.
Time literally keeps passing before my eyes, faster than my brain can even comprehend. I swear just a second ago it was 90 degrees outside and I was celebrating my engagement in the desert of Arizona. Now it’s in the 50s (still super warm for this time of year), and exactly 1 week from Christmas and 2 weeks from my wedding. WHAAAAAT?!? When did that happen, man?
Of course, like the last months that I’ve missed writing about, there has been quite a bit that’s happened:
I had my bridal shower & bachelorette parties in Keene & CT respectively.
We had a big Friendsgiving with J&C’s family coming down to visit the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
K & I went to Baltimore and celebrated Thanksgiving with his dad, stepmom & stepsisters + SOs, and his adorable-way-too-big-niece!
We got our ceremony draft.
I went to Scottsdale again for work.
We made a ton of head way with our wedding checklist: paying things off; getting decorations pulled together; finding wedding gifts for everyone.
We finally coordinated Christmas with all 3 families, plus started shopping for everyone
But the thing that’s really boggling my mind is that 7 days from tonight I head home to NH for the final stretch before I say, “I do!”. I’m so beyond excited and ready to get the show on the road, but I still can’t believe it’s here.
The next time you hear from me, I’m gonna have a new last name!!
Here’s some pictures to catch you all up, and to tie you over til my next post.
To me, there’s nothing like the chilly, early morning air when fall has arrived. You know the kind I’m talking about. The one that sneaks up on you when you’re rushing off to work. You step outside your front door in your usual late summer attire, only to be surprised with a sudden burst of cold breeze. The kind of breeze that reminds you snowmen & fuzzy boots are right around the corner. It jolts the system; shocks you out of the endless-summer mentality. It always takes me off guard; but once I have one of those mornings, I know all my favorite things are about to start.
Leaves in shades of gold, orange & red. Digging out my cold weather gear, long forgotten in the heat & humidity of the summer sun. Pumpkin spice everything (yes, I’m one of those girls, and I’m proud of it). Wearing a hoodie & sweatpants for the first time when I’m really cold. Warming my cold, bare toes in fluffy socks after getting out of bed in the morning. Seeing my breath as I walk to my car in the early morning light. Watching puppies & kids chase the leaves as the rain down on them. Seeing holiday items being pulled out from storage, and stores warning you get your shopping done early. Planning “friendsgivings” with our adopted families. Going apple & pumpkin picking. It all starts with that first cold breeze.
This past weekend was the first weekend it really felt like fall down in these parts. Kyle & I took advantage after all our errands were done and went to an orchard in Markham, VA.
It was late in the day, and a Sunday, so it was pretty quiet there. Everything was cash only, so we didn’t actually get to go apple picking, but we picked out our own pumpkins and explored their Fall Fest instead. Giant chess, a corn maze, a caramel apple, an apple launcher; you name it, we tried it. And totally froze our butts off.
But regardless of going a weekend past its prime, and being much colder than we prepared for, it was an absolute blast! We’re definitely going back next year!
I’m gonna get real with y’all for a few minutes here.
I will admit that I am not the most optimistic person in the world (such I shocker, right? haha). I tend to expect the worst in most, if not all, situations so I’m not disappointed when things don’t go my way. It’s a trait I learned young from my well-meaning parents, but something that’s grown to have a life of it’s own the older I’ve become.
Lately, as Kyle can attest, I’ve been feeling quite pessimistic about our impending nuptials. Not the marriage itself, because Lord knows I love Kyle more than anything, but the actual day of said marriage. Why do I feel this way, you ask? Well unbeknownst me until this whole process started, wedding planning absolutely sucks. It is NOT the: fun DIYing, Pinterest surfing, decoration shopping, venue hunting, love fest everyone and their brother leads you to believe. Instead its: budget planning, bargain hunting, endless compromising, family argument & disagreement diffusing, with a whole load of people calling you a “bridezilla” thrown in for good measure (even when all you’ve done is disagree with other person’s opinion). If people actually told you how much it sucked beforehand, I feel like there would be way more courthouse weddings/elopements, and the billion dollar wedding industry would take a serious hit. This bride over here certainly wouldn’t be having the big New Year’s Eve bash we’re planning if I’d known all this back in May.
But regardless of my current pessimism, our wedding is still happening. So everyone can take a sigh of relief, and mail back those RSVP cards (pretty please, and thank you!). But what I’m trying to get at is that wedding planning is hard. It’s stressful. It’s time consuming. It’s a whole load of emotions you don’t expect, but that continue to wallop you at unsuspecting times. And on top of all that, it’s expensive.
If you’re a middle-class person like I am making $50k a year in the DC area means you can pay all your bills, usually (and if you share some expenses with roommates or loved ones), but you’ll still be living paycheck-to-paycheck. Now in all your bills and living expenses, I want you to find the money to host a giant one-evening party for 140-160 people that’s fun, has food, alcohol, and entertainment, etc. Think that’s impossible? It certainly feels like it. I honestly don’t think it would be happening right now if not for the help and support of our three sets of parents & five siblings (thank you, thank you, thank you all again btw!).
The other day I was feeling particularly down about the whole thing after budgeting for the month, and I decided to research ways to cope with financial stress (yes, I really do look shit like this up in my spare time–don’t judge). I came across this article that said the #1 thing that you have to change to cope better is: your attitude. It went on to talk about starting to focus on the things you’ve accomplished, instead of focusing on all the things left to do. To be more grateful, and to learn from your challenges. How scientifically, focusing on the good can completely alter the way things happen in the future. I won’t get into the whole nitty-gritty, but it got me to thinking. And it made sense. I needed to look at all the things we’ve accomplished, with and without help, already for the wedding. So I made a list.
Venue completely paid for? Check.
DJ completely paid for? Check.
Dress/shoes/half of my accessories gifted to us by my parents? Check.
Cake & desserts being gifted to us by my sister? Check.
Flowers being gifted to us by Kyle’s sister? Check.
Food being gifted to us by my parents? Check.
Alcohol being gifted to us by Kyle’s mom & stepfather? Check.
Rehearsal dinner being gifted to us by Kyle’s dad & stepmother? Check.
Photographer booked & actively being paid for? Check.
Hair & makeup artist booked & actively being saved/paid for? Check.
Decorations being purchased? Check.
Honeymoon booked & being paid off? Check.
Guest transportation booked & actively being paid for? Check.
Looking at all we have done this way made me realize, it’s really not as bad as I think. We are SO damn lucky for all the help we are receiving. So, so, so damn lucky. We can manage the budget, and limiting fun expenses, for a month or two to make it all happen on our end. I know we can. Sure it really sucks saying no to things I want to do or buy in the moment, but in the end, all of this work, stress, and planning will be worth it. We will have all our loved ones in one place, at one time, and will have an absolutely amazing party to ring in the New Year. It’s just hard to keep perspective sometimes.
With that exercise being done, I’ll get to the point of my ramblings: for the rest of the 84 days we have left (yes, we really have that few days left) I will be more thankful and more positive about the whole wedding planning experience. I will enjoy that this is all actually happening, and be excited that we’re getting MARRIED in 2.5 months! Before I know it, I’ll be Mrs. Rebecca Anne Yeh. It’s so crazy to think about, but I am so ready for it.
For all of you who have listened to me bitch & whine about money/stress/any stupid ass-thing: I’m so sorry. And thank you. I really am thrilled all this is happening. I promise I will do better, and try to be a happier, more optimistic me for the rest of the year.
Gratitude: it’s not just for Thanksgiving anymore.
That’s right folks! It’s official! Our roomies are married!!!
Mr. & Mrs. Jonathan & Christine Hehnly tied the knot in front of all their family and friends on Saturday, September 26th at 2:30pm. Kyle & I had the privilege to be included as part of their bridal party. It was an absolute honor being able to stand up by their sides as they committed their lives to each other.
The whole wedding day/weekend was an absolutely glorious affair. The weather turned out to be much better than expected, especially the day of (it was threatening 60% chance of rain all week prior), and everything was pulled together beautifully.
J, C, K & I all arrived to Deep Creek on Thursday a little after noon. Christine’s brother, sister-in-law & mother joined us shortly after. And that’s when the prep whirlwind started. The tent was set up, the lights configured, and the tulle hung. Lots of drinks were consumed while it was all happening, making the whole process a little less painful (hehe). We concluded the night with everyone teaching me how to play beer pong (yes, yes I know. Such a sheltered life I lived).
The next day, Friday, the rest of the bridal party and family started to arrive as we all finished off decorating (tables set up, centerpieces assembled, chairs dropped off, signs put together, etc., etc.). Once all was complete, we rehearsed the ceremony, ate lots of yummy food, and got to bed early.
The big day arrived in a blink of an eye, and I kept saying to everyone that I couldn’t believe it was here (I probably got annoying saying that so much–sorry, guys!). We primped, prepped, and sipped mimosas all morning until it was finally time to get in our gorgeous dresses for pictures.
After all the girl pictures were done, we lined up and walked up the aisle to watch Jon & Christine make their love for each other official. It was such a great moment filled with lots of happy tears, laughter, and overflowing love. Just thinking about it makes my heart swell with happiness. (*insert cheesy grin here*).
And after that…. we partied! Lots more alcohol was consumed (whoops) and many more fantastic memories were made. ❤
Sunday was a blur of cleanup, nursing hangovers, traveling home to relieve our dog-sitter, Chinese food, and Big Bang Theory. I think I was in bed by 8:30pm that night lol. After dropping J&C off at Dulles early Monday morning for their honeymoon in Jamaica, the Hehnly wedding weekend officially came to a close. I’m sad to see it over; but the memories of that weekend will always remain some of my favorite.